1. I never learned to read the time until I was in grade 5.
I don’t know why I didn’t learn earlier. I remember being so proud of myself when I finally managed to do it.

2. I’ve never been to Starbucks.
I’m so disappointed in myself. Why haven’t I ever been there? WHAT THE HECK HAVE I BEEN DOING ALL THIS TIME? Hopefully one day I will see that heavenly green logo in real life, be able to touch the tables, stroke the front counter. And maybe even get there in time to taste their unicorn frappuccino in all its glory.

3. I once face planted a kid for absolutely no reason.
I had no legitimate reason to do it. I came up behind the kid, clamped my hand over his head and squished his face into the sand. I then ran away like a total coward and left him there to choke on his own spit covered sand. I think deep down I know he deserved it.

4. My phone is a little LG.
Oh my gosh, the horror! I’m imagining either people fainting while reading this or if they’re anything like some of my friends, laughing their heads off. Thanks, guys, one day I’ll catch up, but for now, I’ll stick with my 1cm thick phone that’s the size of a slice of cheese.

5. I like SPAM.
SPAM is a type of canned “meat” (who knows what it’s actually composed of and who cares? Am I right?) that resembles dog food. Most people hate it with passion, but I don’t mind it. Sometimes I crave a SPAM and salad sandwich; I’m afraid to say.


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